Camerawhoring
by Eliza Darling
Summary: Watching Mogi and Misa doing nothing all day bores Matt. He finds a way to entertain himself, but will Mello be okay with it? Warning: No plot, yaoi. My attempt at comedy!


**Hey! Maggie here! Okay, this took me, maybe, like, three hours to make. It has absolutely no plot whatsoever; I only wrote it to practice writing comedy and yaoi. So don't preach to me about plot development. I know there's no point to it.**

**Enjoy!**

With his free hand, Matt leaned back and pushed his striped tee up his torso, revealing lean, toned abdominal muscles. His goggles were perched atop his auburn head and he was smiling seductively with his cigarette between clenched teeth. He winked.

_Click._

Oh, _yes_, that was goddamned _sexy_. He smirked to himself, taking a long drag. Those numerous single women in their twenties were going to be _very_ pleased with the fan service he'd be giving to them.

Matt picked up a giant lollipop he'd gotten earlier that morning and stubbed his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. He undid the wrapping and stuck his tongue out, licking the sugar stick slowly. He kept his eyes out, looking to his left.

_Click._

Like Paris Hilton would say, "That's _so_ hot."

Matt connected the little digital camera to his Mac laptop; his Windows one beside it still watching the man named "Motchi" and the girl named "Misa-Misa" do absolutely nothing. Besides iPhoto worked so much better than the Windows photo application.

Forty-seven photos today. Great. Matt immediately uploaded the pictures to his MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, and Tumblr accounts. He smirked while lighting another cigarette, as he saw at least twenty, no, _forty_, people commenting and liking every single picture. Matt knew none of these people, and social networking was _such_ a tease.

"Ooh, Motchi, he's updated again!" squealed Misa-Misa from the Windows computer. Matt kept smirking. Ever since he'd started his whole "camerawhoring" escapade, Misa-Misa had been stalking all his profiles, leaving incredibly suggestive comments.

"Misa-Misa… you have to remember that you're engaged," Motchi warned.

Misa-Misa rolled her eyes. "Oh, Motchi, I'm not married _yet_. I can still have some fun."

_Ding!_ New picture comments. Matt clicked on his notifications box.

**Misa Amane:** If you're looking for some fun, why don't you come over to my place, big boy? ;D

Rolling his eyes, Matt immediately answered.

**Matt J.:** **at Misa:** Love to, but sadly; I'm in a relationship. Unless YOU'D like to come over and all three of us could have some fun… my girlfriend's a real slut.

Okay, so he'd lied. Not about the "slut" part, but the "girlfriend" part. But by his haircut, tight leather, and occasional PMS-ing, it was hard to think Mello _wasn't_ a girl.

_Ding!_

_ Click._

**Misa Amane: at Matt:** You naughty boy… :P Sorry, Matty, but I don't do threesomes.

Matt shrugged. At least Misa-Misa knew when to back off.

_Ch-chunk._

_ Click._

Shit. Mello was back. Matt minimized his windows and pretended to be engrossed in Misa-Misa typing away on her laptop and Motchi's bored expression.

"Hey, babe," Matt greeted, not getting up.

"Anything, Matt?" Mello sighed, dropping his motorcycle helmet and leather fur coat to the ground.

Matt shook his head. "Nada. It's like watching two rocks," he replied.

"_Mm_… that's a shame," said Mello, walking over to behind the couch on which Matt was sitting and wrapped his arms around the gamer's shoulders. He began to kiss Matt's neck softly.

"Mels…" Matt said breathily. "I—"

_Ding!_

God damn it.

"What the hell was that?" Mello demanded, personality totally changing.

_It was Misa-Misa commenting on my social networking photos,_ Matt was about to answer, then stopped himself. "Uh… I…" he stuttered. "Wait, no, Mels, don't—"

Too late.

"What the hell, Matt? You've been _social networking_ this entire time?!"

"Err…" Matt scratched the back of his neck. "Not the _entire_ time."

Mello's eyes traveled to the small digital camera, still plugged into the Mac laptop. "You bought a _camera_?! Matt… have you been effin' _camerawhoring_?!"

"Well, I…" The words wouldn't come out. Something about Mello made Matt immediately shut up.

"Matt, you are _such_ an _idiot_!" Mello screamed, unplugging the camera harshly.

"Wait, Mels—" Uh-oh. The camera wasn't properly ejected. The pictures were still on the there, probably. All of them.

"You _know_ our faces can't be shown!" Mello explained, turning the camera back on. "Anyone with The Eyes can see your real name if they were to get a hold of these social networks."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Fuck Kira," he retorted. "Serial killers don't have Facebook accounts."

"Beyond Birthday would've had one, so _nyeh_!" Mello stuck his tongue out, like a child.

Of course. The Beyond Birthday comeback. "Mello, Beyond Birthday died in, like, 2004. That was, like, before YouTube was, like, _invented_."

"And like, you're, like, talking like a Valley Girl, like, _feerr_ sheerer," Mello shot back mockingly in a girly accent. Matt thought Mello could have executed a perfect remake of Alicia Silverstone in _Clueless_.

"Aw, Mels, just because I used the word 'like' a few times in a sentence, you immediately think I'm a _Valley Girl_?"

"Yes. Yes I do. And here's another thing, _Mail_. You are _so_ going to—_damn_." Mello never finished his sentence.

Matt pouted. "What, _Mihael_?" he demanded, crossing his arms.

"You're just—you're so… how… ah…" Mello started making random noises, blue eyes, which were usually squinting, wide in astonishment. Rarely had Matt seen Mello in this state of crisis. He impulsively ran over to help his boyfriend.

"_Ohhh_, shit. Mello? Mels?" He shook Mello by the shoulders. "Babe, can you hear me?"

Mello snapped out of his transfixed state, shaking his head. "I'm fine," he stated coldly.

Matt pulled him into a tight hug. "Babe, don't _scare_ me like—" He suddenly pulled away, frowning. "What. The. Fuck."

Rolling his eyes, Mello walked over and wrapped his arms around Matt's waist, making it a point to grind his hips into the redhead's. "It's called a boner, _babe_," Mello explained matter-of-factly. "_Normal_ human males get 'em. Not to mention most of the time _you_ helped me get rid of them, am I right, _Matty_?"

Sneakily, Matt snatched the camera out of Mello's hands. "You were turned on by my camerawhoring?" he asked, starting to laugh.

Again, Mello rolled his eyes, snatched back the camera, and walked over to the couch, pulling up all of Matt's profiles. "Jesus, Jeevas. How long have you had these?"

Matt shrugged. "'Bout a week," he answered, as if it were no big deal.

He actually made Mello's jaw drop. "A _week_? _How_ many MySpace friends do you have?"

"Um… 653, 654 if you count Tom."

"Facebook?"

"619."

"Twitter?"

"747 followers."

"Friendster?"

"469."

"Tumblr?"

"594."

"What the--? How the--?" You have _no life_, man. At _all_."

Matt sighed. "I _know_. But, well, I finished all the new games I got… _twice_, and I had nothing better to do, so I just bought a camera one day, made some social networking accounts, and now hundreds of horny men and women flock to my pictures, wanting me to fuck them, them to fuck me, et cetera."

"Damn." Mello read over some of the suggestive comments.

**Jeremy Pike:** I just got a boner just by LOOKING at that picture.

**Jennifer Marie:** Come over and fuck me senseless, Matty.

**Emily Blac:** Matty, babe, I want your pulsating—

_Ohh-kay, then_. Matt quickly ran over and closed the windows, blushing.

"You're not even _topless_ in any of these photos," said Mello, scrolling through the pictures on iPhoto.

"Well… it's the middle of _winter_…" Matt started.

"Yeah, in _L.A._ Wimp."

"Shut it, Mels." Matt frowned.

Mello stopped at the one of Matt winking at the camera, smiling seductively with his cigarette dangling out of his mouth. "You know, I could jack myself off to this picture," he stated.

"Yeah, well, the _real_ me is right here," Matt replied, moving to the front of the couch and kissing Mello at the corner of his lips.

"Tease," Mello growled, smiling. He grabbed Matt's gorgeous head of red hair and crushed his lips to the gamer's.

The kiss was hot and passionate, tongues and teeth moving together in perfect synch, tasting what they had tasted so many times before. Eventually, Matt began to dominate, but Mello was fine with it.

"Hey, Mels," Matt said as he pulled away, "want me to help with that, erm, _problem_ you have?"

"Thought you'd never ask, Matty," Mello replied, smiling that sadistic smile of his.

Then Matt noticed the little digital camera was still in Mello's hand.

"Mello?"

"Hm?"

Matt took the camera from Mello's hand. "Wanna record some memories?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Why Matt, you bad, bad boy." Mello ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair with leather gloves.

Matt smirked and started recording.

**Leave your reviews here, my luverlies! :D Hopefully you have some characterization critiques for me! ^-^**

**Reviews are love! I always reply!**

**Oh, and doesn't my comedy phail EPICALLY?**

**~Maggie**


End file.
